As with most things I read about autism, it took me a long time to recognise that I have special interests. It’s not that I’m interested in gardening you see, it’s that I want to create a space that has a certain vibe, and achieving that involves gardening. It’s just a means to an end.

What I’m actually chasing is that deep feeling of peace that I get from sitting in a garden. The joy I feel when I gaze at the petals of a flower, immersed in the vibration of its colour. It’s an immersive visual stim like no other, maximum sensory input. My kind of jam.

I’d always dreamed of having a garden but never imagined that I would. And then through a series of life choices and circumstances suddenly I had the space and the time to create one.

I’ve been building this dream for 5 years, a slow-motion creation in 4 dimensions. Now it is full and lush and peaks around my birthday, drenched in midsummer light, a bath of green and purple, buzzing with bees, dragonflies, hummingbirds and butterflies.

Layering stims and interests is one of my favourite ways to self soothe and try to stay regulated. Spending a week sitting in my garden, tending to it, staring at it, and not needing to mask at all, is a blissful birthday retreat.